O.o Tub Turmoil! :P :P :P :P :P
by Cucoo styrofoam chicken queen
Summary: other than some language, this stories not bad. it's based on something that happened to me a few years ago. Chapter 2 up!
1. Yeesh!!!

Isn't it amazing what goes on in my life?  
  
Author's note: as much as i hate to say it, this is the last humor fanfic i will be writing for a while.(Friend&ppl who like my Crack-inspired stories start getting upset.)*NO I DO NOT SMOKE CRACK!!!!!!!!!!! I JUST ACT LIKE I DO SOMETIMES, ACCORDING TO MY FRIENDS* EEHHHSHYADAP! anywho, this is based on something that happened to me a few years ago.I don't have much time to write this, so i'm gonna have to split it into 2 short chapters.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from FF9.  
  
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The characters represent certain people in the story:  
  
Cast:  
  
ME: Dagger  
MY SISTER: Eiko  
MY BROTHER: Zidane  
DAD: Steiner  
MOM: Beatrix  
  
Ok, here we go!  
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One day, in Alexandria castle...  
  
" Shit!!!" Steiner yelled out as he bumped his head on a pipe. He, Dagger, and Zidane were attempting to fix a broken bathtub.   
" I don't think you should be doing this," Dagger said worriedly." The last time you tried to fix something, it blew up!"  
"Princess, Eiko stuck a firework in it!"  
Eiko pops up around the corner." Did NOT!!!" she said with a scowl on her face." Why would I stck a firework in an alark clock?"  
Beatrix walks into the room. "Sigh, again with the tub. Why can't we call a plumber?"  
"Tch, easy! He's to proud and stubborn!" Zidane snickered out. Eiko started laughing.  
Dagger rolled her eyes."God, why do you have to be such a suck-up?!"  
Beatrix looked at them," She may be a suck-up, but it doesn't work on me, so don't worry about it."  
Zidane looked at her funny," .................riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.....", and then went back to helping Steiner.  
"You know what?" said Beatrix,"why don't we just let him fix it?"  
Dagger's mouth dropped."You're kidding, right?" Just then, a pipe broke, and Steiner got Drenched. Zidane started laughing uncontrollably, and didn't do anything, even though Steiner was yelling at him,"SOMEONE*GLUG* GET ME A WRENTCH*GURGGLE*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
Eiko started walking off." I think we should leave." So Beatrix, Dagger, and Eiko left the laughing Zidane and the drenched Steiner to their work."  
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Two hours later...  
  
"Yahoo!" they heard Zidane yell. Everyone rushed into the bathroom.  
"Oh dear god, what now?!?!?!?!?" Beatrix was panicing.  
"I can't believe it!!!" Steiner said joyfully,"We fixed it!!"  
" Your kidding!!!!!!!!!" Dagger yelled out! She immediately went to the faucet and turned it on. The water ran like normal!  
Eiko suddenly shouted," QUICK!! MAKE SURE EVERYTHING ELSE WORKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The women ran around the castle, turning on every water supply they could find. IT ALL WORKED!!!!  
" I can't believe we did it!!!" Zidane jumped in the air.  
"I'm so happy!" Steiner had to keep from crying.  
"Well", said Beatrix,"since everything looks ok, why don't we go out to dinner?"  
"YAY!!" everyone yelled, and they were off.  
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Yeah, yeah. I know this story seems predictable, but trust me, you have no idea what happens next. I'll put up the next chapter as soon as i can get it typed! 


	2. Oh, boy.......

Isn't it amazing what goes on in my life?  
  
Author's note: Ok, i lied about it being my last humor fic for a while......i tried, but hardly anyone reviewed the non humor fic i put up(guess i'm to popular in the humor department). It's been a while, but i think it's time i did some more writeing(i've got 3 other stories i need to finish) well, it's time for chapter 2!!!! remember, this really happened!!  
  
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Characters're same as last time, but Vivi's representing my dog, shiloh(no, Vivi's not going to be a dog!!!! I like him too much!!! ALL HAIL VIVI,MOUSIH THE CAT GOD, AND THE ALL MIGHT STYROFOAM CHICKENS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA*HACK**COUGH*..............................I've GOT to stpo doing that!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
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Ok.......where were we......oops!!!! wait a sec.................. I don't own FF9...Ya happy squaresoft? (lucky bastards!!!!!!)  
  
  
Oh, yeah..........After dinner, the group noticed tracks of mud on the floor. After looking for several minutes, they found Vivi hidden in a closet, covered in mud.  
"Vivi, look what you did!!!"Beatrix yelled out in a frustrated tone.   
Eiko, with a rag and wash bucket, said gloomily,"Might as well get to work........It'll take hours to clean this up."  
Vivi started scratching the back of his neck."Umm.....Well, I'm off!!!" and he tries to run away. Dagger catches him by his shirt collar.  
"Oh no you don't!!! It's bad enough you've tracked mud all over the house......you're getting a BATH!!!"  
Vivi's eyes became wide with horror."No!!! Not that!!! Anything but that!!!" He manages to aviod getting caught by Dagger, but was apprehended by Steiner.  
"Not so fast," Steiner picked up the struggleing Vivi. "Zidane, give him a good scrubbing."  
"Why me?"  
"Because."  
"Why?"  
"Oh, never mind!! Dagger, you do it."  
Dagger's sholder's slumped over."Wha......oh, fine." With much effort, she drags Vivi into the bathroom. Zidane gets a huge smirk on his face and starts to walk off when Steiner gives him some rags and a bucket." Oh no ya don't! You're not getting off that easy......"  
Zidane went from happy to glum,"Oh, man....."   
Let's get to work, everyone!"Beatrix said, busy scrubbing the floor." The sooner we get this done, the the less complaining I have to hear!"  
"Right!" exclaims everyone and gets to work.  
  
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Meanwhile, in the bathroom..........  
  
Vivi was crying desprately to get out of takeing a bath.  
Dagger was getting pissed."Oh, c'mon!!! You've never been so scared of a bath in your life!! What's the matter?"  
"Something's wrong, but i don't know what....."  
"Steiner fixed it earlier. Quit yer whinning and get in the tub so I can run the water."  
"I'm telling you something's not right!!" Vivi begins to back up toward the door.  
Dagger sighed,"Fine. If you're so worried, I'll run the water now to show you that everything's alright."  
She walked over to the tub and turned the faucet on. it ran like normal.  
"See, there's nothing to worr-" Suddenly, the faucet starts sputtering like it was sick.  
"Oh, no!!! Not again!" She kicked the wall hard. The water stopped running all together.   
"Great! Now what?" She turned around to go get Steiner when the faucet started makeing sucking noises." What the-" Just then, the faucet shot right off the wall, and water flew through the hole with so much force it flooded the room almost immediately, soaking Dagger and Vivi.  
Vivi totally freaked out. He jumped on Dagger's back and dug his fingers deep into her shoulders, screaming bloody murder!!!  
The lights began to flicker.......  
  
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Back to the clean up crew........  
  
The lights just started flickering, and water was getting to the area they were in...  
Beatrix blew," STEINER YOU IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU DID SOMETHING AND I KNOW YOU DID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
Steiner became shocked." What did I do?"  
Eiko started jumping in the already fooding puddle on the floor. " Hey, This is cool!!" She splashes Zidane." Wanna play?"  
Zidane immediately realized what was going on." Uh, oh.....Where're Dagger and Vivi?"  
Just then, Dagger ran around the corner soaking wet with Vivi on her back right into him.  
"What happened, Princess?" Steiner said worriedly.  
"Your lousy plumbing job, that's what!"  
  
Without warning, the lights went completely out......  
  
"That's it!!!! I'm calling a plumber!!!!" Beatrix fumed, and ran off to look for the phone book in the now 3 inch flooded house.  
  
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2 days later...................after everything was fixed.......................  
  
"i can't believe you were actually dumb enough to direct the water toward the underground power cabels!!!" Zidane said sarcasticly.  
"It's not my fault!!!! I don't know the blueprints of the house!!!" Steiner whinned pitifully.  
"At least the plumber managed to fix it all for 20000 Gil!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Beatrix looked sharply at Steiner.  
  
In the distance, Eiko and Dagger scream. Vivi runs to see what happened, with the others close behind. they go into the living roomto find the TV screen blown out.  
"Great...........Anothet thing broken..." Dagger mumbled.  
Steiner brightened." Don't worry, I'll fix it!"  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Everyone yells at the top of their lungs.  
"Zidane, grab the TV! Eiko, help him get in in the car. Dagger, keep Steiner busy! We're going to a repair store! NOW!!!!!" called out Beatrix. As soon as everyone did what they were told and the TV was in the car, everyone but Steiner went with Betrix to the TV repair outlet.  
  
Steiner stood there, gapeing at the area the TV was in....."I don't get it....." Stiener muttered gloomily." I could've fixed it.....why wouldn't they let me?"  
  
  
Let's just say that after that, whenever something broke, Steiner wasn't allowed within 5 ft of it.  
  
THE END  
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Like it? It's not as demented or funny as some of my other fics, but then again, this really happened. Even though my parents are getting divorced, Dad's still not allowed to touch anything broken. 


End file.
